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Government Cheese releases first record in 23 years : “The Late Show”

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Sure, I say it some.  But I don’t say it all that often.  And I don’t say it with 100% certainty hardly ever.  But, Government Cheese should have been famous.  And I mean big time famous, too.

Admittedly, I’m coming into the fray a generation down and a few lightyears worth of house shows and debauchery away from the real time shows and debauchery that Government Cheese reigned supreme over.  But where I fail at bobbing my head along to the 1990s reality, I sure do have YouTube.  And I’m also a little embarrassed to admit how many times I’ve watched “Mamaw Drives The Bus” —

And I’ve visited this live video of their tune, “Fish Stick Day” from a 2011 reunion show in Nashville my fair share of times, too.

It’s great, isn’t it?  Are you imagining the mass amount of 90s excellence that could’ve been further produced if somebody had just lined the Cheese guys pockets with cash?  If I had these guys on my television set for easy consumption in the 90s, would I have even been impressed when Michael Stipe was going on about “Everybody Hurts” while wearing that dopey hat and wandering through traffic??  No, I would’ve been yelling at the screen – “MORE MAMAW! MORE FISHSTICKS! I WANT MY CHEESETV!”

Now, there is a silver lining.  Government Cheese is — 23 years after their last release – putting out a new album, “The Late Show” on April 1.  The band has already released a teaser clip of tunes, pre-orders are available, and new live dates are coming up on the books much to the delight of a very-engaged cult-like fanbase of “Cheeseheads.” (For some reason, I just whispered *must assimilate* to myself three times under my suddenly sharp cheddar-scented breath. Weird.)

Here’s the preview:

I know, I know.  It’s a painfully excellent teaser clip of tunes, right? You agree with my certainty that Government Cheese most definitely did not get what was due to them in exchange for their talent & creativity, don’t you?  Well, here’s what’s also certain:  The music business still won’t get it, still won’t care enough, and still won’t line anybody’s pockets with fat wads of cash. So, it’s up to fans and Cheeseheads to buy one or two copies of “The Late Show.”  (For example, I’m going to buy TWO – one for myself, and one to give away on the blog – so bust a LIKE, so you don’t miss that chance.)

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And uh, it wouldn’t hurt if somebody who knows somebody would call Jack White’s people.  Get on the bullhorn to one of the Bens over there — Swank or Blackwell — I know (through light stalking and gentle fanaticism) that rare, brilliant (and somewhat obscure) bands like Government Cheese  are totally their jams.  Don’t we know Jack’s hairstylist?  The guy that cuts his wood beams at Lowe’s?  A guacamole master?   Whatever, fail us again music industrialists!

Cheeseheads (and future cheeseheads) unite.  We welcome “The Late Show” with open arms, as do all of these folks:

governmentcheesebw  governmentcheesedave governmentcheesejk governmentcheesekingjongun governmentcheeseputin

You can follow Government Cheese on Facebook: HERE to keep up with all their details.

You can find other pertinent info on ordering the album and seeing the gang live on their official website: HERE.

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Josh Morningstar woos crowd with Country Music Anthem

joshmorningstarMaryland singer/songwriter Josh Morningstar has been joining Shooter Jennings and the Waymore’s Outlaws on tour since January.  Opening to  diverse crowds of personalities ranging from surly pirate-types to gentle farmers to complete psychos, being the unknown that starts the show can be pretty brutal.

Luckily, Morningstar has had the chops (literally and figuratively) to handle the pressure thus far.

Here’s a live video he posted today of “Stop Fucking Up Country Music”  —


To follow Josh and keep up with his music and musics, please visit him on Twitter:  HERE and on Facebook: HERE.

They Ask If They Exist

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They Ask if They Exist
I.

They bite into an apple,

a little black seed slips

into the gap in their front teeth:

a distraction from their lips.

And their instinct is to spit?

It filled that space, a curtain

their tongue and throat won

Dignity that genetics did not allow.

And I say That’s how!

You must exist-

if an apple thought your mouth

was red enough to kiss.

 

II

They bark into a puppy’s face

to teach it not to yap.

The puppy tucks its tail

and crawls up in their lap,

it sniffs the crumpled lines of their pants.

all snorting with its snout, reads:

Puppy doesn’t know how to ouch, now.

Puppy doesn’t know how to grouch, now.

And I say The Existence you Wield!

You must be real-

you can do what the puppy does just once

and make it forget how to feel.

 

III

They bat a fly and black their eye

with their very own limp fist.

Their lover is watching all of this

and caws “Ah! Ha! Ha! You missed!”

They wish their eye could have a yoke

and crack just like an egg.

And yellow slime could creep down their cheeks

like piss runs down your leg, (understand: embarrassment)

and I say Oh, Its not a Joke

You’ve learned the most human truth

Love is good and Love is great,

but only when its New.

 

IV

They birth a baby on a blanket

at the Macy’s Day Parade

Man in charge of the Giant Garfield

offers up a trade.

They wonder how much helium

is in that orange cat,

and if their baby’s face will change

once it sheds its baby fat, (understand: looks like grandpa)

and I say Oh! You Get It Now?

You’re as real as choice is chance.

Two people who made a baby making love

lost at Russian roulette romance.

 

V.

They bury the box right down the hill

It’s heavy as a stone

Wouldn’t cardboard seem more effective and light

to hold some person’s bones?

The preacher checks his watch. He says

to God, beam that soul right up!

And to let that soul eat the believer’s bread

and drink from the believer’s cup,

and I say Now, You Really Know

That Existence is a Show

Decide what brand of watch to wear.

Then, decide when it’s time to go.

 

– Mary Sparr

Jack White releases totally ruling video for Black Bat Licorice

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Jack White released this totally ruling video to accompany the track, “Black Bat Licorice” from his latest record, Lazaretto.

While you watch (best in Google Chrome, but works in every browser I’ve used)– if you press the “3” and “B” keys, you’ll switch back and forth between 3 different edits of the video, creating your own mash-up of the final product.

Really – This video totally rules and the song totally rules — so, who cares if Jack wants a particular guacamole at every building he steps foot in?  *shrug*  I really don’t even mind if he requires a different, fresh bowl of guacamole at his barber shop, as his local Lowe’s, in public bathrooms, wherever he steps foot.  Not that you need the encouragement, but you just keep doing you, Jack.

Buy Jack’s Lazaretto : HERE.

 

On The Shopping List: A Landline Telephone

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We’ve been thinking about getting a landline for awhile.  I won’t go into the various reasons why  which include details that are boring and blah and work-related and because of logic — but most importantly, adding a phone actually reduced our cable and internet bundle by almost $100 month.

Our cable/internet/phone dude came today to install our line.  It’s active now, but uh…we…don’t have an actual phone?  Here’s our number…call us, maybe?

So, the shopping begins.  And guess what?  There are still tons of affordable landline phone options out there for the consumer (both corded and cordless out there) and many of them totally rule!   New and vintage, here’s my shortlist of phones that we may one day be the proud landline parents of:

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  • Elvis Presley’s personal phone from his Beverly Hills Home : $16,250

Okay, so we’re obviously not buying this phone because some collector bought it for that fancy amount up there and we don’t know who.  His other GOLD phone from Graceland is also not for sale, as it is on tour itself at the O2 Arena in London.    But it’s nice to dream.   Just for cuteness sake, you should also know that if you closed this rotary phone box, Elvis – like any young lad would do – had stuck a Kenpo Karate sticker on the outside.

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  • Sagemcom Sixty Orange Digital Phone w/ Answering Machine : $105.17 on Ebay.

Sagemcom (whoever they may be ) give me faith that there are still people out there that care about creating new designs for what some may consider to be “retired things” —  Love the lines, like the orange — and I’m usually wishy-washy about anything mildly tropical.  To me, this’d be a perfect in what I call our “kitsch-en.”

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I’m not sure why I like this.  I’m not sure if I really do.  I just know that it’s shiny and the part of my 15-year-old heart that slumped at the announcement of Bonnie Bell’s closing is comforted by this phone.  Clarrissa could have explained EVEN more than she did on this baby.

landline - toilet phone

  • Toilet-Shaped Telephone : $29.99 from Ebay.

While we’re on the topic of phone that fall into the dumb category, here’s one that I’m sure we’d receive it we ever moved huts and our friends were buying us new hut-warming gifts. If we can’t have Elvis’ personal phone, maybe this is the next best thing?

landline - swiss voice

  • Swissvoice Cordless Telephone in Black : $179.98 from Amazon. (Cheaper in red and white!)

This is really the right choice.  Sleek.  Simple.  Rules.  This is the phone you get shit done on.  This is the phone you close deals on.  This is the phone you order a pizza and additionally — one of those unforgettable chocolate lava cakes on.   This is the phone that forgives nobody and nothing.  This is your phone.

landline - hulk hogan

  • Vintage WCW Hulk Hogan Nascar Phone : $25.99 from Ebay.

If you’re reading this and want this phone, you might as well not even click that link because I’m so buying it.  The only problem?  My boyfriend Jon – who would be the recipient of such a grand communication device – was the psycho type of kid who doesn’t open stuff and likes to keep it pristine…..in…the…package.  He’s now that psycho adult that has the same behavior.  We’ll have this phone, but it may never, ever ring.  Kind of a metaphor there– like how Hulk likely won’t “ring” again, either.  I’m terrible.

Got a landline you’ve peeked on, vintage or new, that I might want instead?  Holler.  Think landlines are dumb as shit and we are actually stupid overzealous hipsters? Thanks.  Are you in the same boat as us and upgraded to lower your monthly bill with TWC?  *Hug of solidarity*  Too many people have your cell phone number, but you can’t turn off a handful of important people and thus need a secret batphone to prove you’re alive to the inner circle while you 2pac everyone else?  Buy one of those nifty guys up there I suggested!

Ultra Babe Jessica Lee Wilkes announces First Solo Album & Pledge Rewards

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Just to re-iterate the title of this post — the ultra babe known as Jessica Lee Wilkes has announced that she is working on her first solo record and has launched a pre-order/pledge campaign to help make the album — titled “Lone Wolf” — a reality.

Wilkes — who has spent much of her time in the most recent musical past on tour with her other band, JD Wilkes & The Dirt Daubers — says of Lone Wolf:

“Hyphenate the genres all you want, my new album is a rock ‘n roll record at its core. The sound hearkens back to 50s rock ‘n roll, rhythm and blues, Chicago blues and early garage with a hint of soul. Think: Magic Sam, James Brown, the Sonics and Ike Turner embodied in modern female form, with a set of sharpened fangs and packing heat!”

We like fangs.   We like heat.  And dang it, we like Wilkes.

If you’re unfamiliar with Jessica — Above is a video from Music City Roots of her with the Dirt Daubers doing “Baby, Don’t Thrill Me No More.”    Which is a fairly ironic choice — because we’re still thrilled with you.

To pre-order the record — OR to pledge a little extra and acquire any of the additional rewards (like the poster above that RULES) — you can visit HERE to see more on Wilkes’ campaign including a video message from the woman herself.

 

REWIND: IN LURVE: A Valentine’s Style Series

 

IN LURVVVVVVVVEEEEEE is our SPECIAL VALENTINES STYLE REWIND! All of us atYoung Mary’s Record want to admit it: we love…LOVE.  Underneath our critical sassy exteriors we’re totally a bunch of heart-thumpin’ saps.  Sappy photographer Justin Blodgett.  Sappy hair-make-up extraordinaire Ali Townsend.  Sappy Young Mary.   Sappy Danielle Labold of Labold and Sons Vintage who provided many of these beautiful clothes!  It takes a sweetheart-ed village to create a look!

We are excited to introduce OUR valentine’s look.   We styled ourselves in two looks: angelic (long vintage white flowy dress and crown of braids) and demonic(hand-beaded black dress with low-cutback and big old’ hurr) — Isn’t everbody a little bit bad and a little bit good?  And isn’t love an emotion that helps you make choices about how and when you’re great, terrible, or somewhere-in-between?   I’m a complicated woman.  I have been  the sweetest apple in the orchard and the most rotten.  What’s amazing is that I feel like there’s underlying devil in all the angel photos and underyling angel in the devil ones.  Ultimately, this reminds me that there is something more to style than the clothes.  A look can certainly can jump-start thoughts.

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Want to nab these beautiful dresses?  Check out our sponsor, Labold and Sons Salvage – you’ll find everything you need..and more!   The shoes – however – ARE MINE. and MINE FOREVER.

If you’d like your hair to be as beautiful as all our stylish Love Week folks — You can do so by hitting up Ali: HERE — or via phone at (270) 904-4191.   You can also meander over and like The Parlor on Main: HERE.

Float On: 5 Places I Wish I Was Soaking

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(Just to clarify, I DID float here last year.  This was at the Garden of the Gods Club in Golden, Colorodo.)

As the cold, dead fingers of winter continue to choke our pale, Spring-desirin’ throats – we atYoung Mary’s Record – can seem to find nothing to think about besides strapping on our suit and going for a much needed float.  Thus, inspiration!  

The St. Regis Lhasa Resort : Lhasa, Tibet : 

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Yes, that is a gold-plated pool.  Housed in a room dedicated to spritual well-being in the St. Regis Lhasa Resort in Tibet — this pool is constantly kept exactly between 28 and 32 degrees Celsius (prime floating temperature!).  You can order food and drinks from pool side and after your fingers and toes have reached maximum prune status – you can hit the adjacent meditation garden – or eat, drink, relax in another capacity at this swanky hotel.   Rooms here are only about $250 a night — and we’re ready to sign up.   YMR loves us some decadence, don’t ya know it?

Schlitterbahn Waterpark : New Braunfels, Texas : 

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Speaking of decadence — we can’t help but admit we sure like the opposite, too : raw, domestic family-ass fun.   This water park is 65 acres   – everything’s bigger in Texas — and in addition to being on every Top Ten American WaterPark list we’ve seen — it’s called Schlitterbahn.  We just like saying that word over and over.  SCHLITTERBAHN!   Approximately 55 bucks for a day pass – but tubes and parking are free, and this park (unlike many others) is picnic-friendly.  Picnic friendly translates to “bring as much ski, ham and cheese loaf sandwiches, and melted snicker bars in as you like!” — No over-priced hot dogs for us!  (A blatant lie, we would totally get those.)

The Cambrian Hotel : Adelboden, Switzerland: 

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The first marketing mantra on The Cambrian Hotels’ official website is the above photo with the words “Chill Out” — Talk about an easy sell.   The views alone make this a magnificent outdoor pool — but the fact that is paired with this swanky design hotel and spa – takes the cake.  Around $300 a night — and they have tons of package deals, too.  The Romance package that includes breakfast, spa treatments, and some other “surprises” is looking mighty appealing to my hopeless heart.

Travertine Hot Springs : Bridgeport, California :

There’s some nature I can get behind — and there’s some nature, that while I’m absolutely elated that other folks completely embrace it — I just can’t handle.  The Travertine Hot Springs, however, are on my  bucket list.  It’s partially because I’m a hot-tub lover and the idea of an earthly hot-tub seems …romanticized to me?   But also!  Many folks describe these hot springs and the surrounding scenery as other-worldly, alien even.   I like an escape that seems even beyond this planet.  These are free, off-the-beaten path, and while most people do wear bathing suits, they’re clothing optional.   I don’t like being an ingredient in boob soup *usually*- so I’ll likely suit up.

Little Palm Island Resort – Summerland Key, Florida

Commence swooning in 5….4….3….2…1… There are no children allowed and no cell phones on this private island.    Dreamy huts, amazing food, tons of wildlife — and just plain lovely.  I’m packing my bags now and getting ready to sell my flatscreen, computer, cellphone, and anything else I can Ebay to get there.  The Island Escape Suite rings in at about $1000 a night in May — but I’d bet you can get some nice off-season rates if you kept an eye out.

GO: To The Franklin Drive-In (Or the Drive-In Nearest You!)

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In Franklin, KY – there is a drive-in.  It’s not hokey and full of dolled-up pinups in the back of classic cars.  Instead, it’s no frills.   There are a bunch of country-ass parents and kids plopped outside their vans and teenagers huddled in the back of truckbeds – and me and my main squeeze, Jon, completely out of place.

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As we were  piling up on hamburgers and gigantic sodas that the Mayor of NYC would have TOTALLY not been pleased about — the concession workers even asked us, “Y’all aren’t from around here, are ya?”

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Was it my shoes?  Or his hat and general swagger?  Or both?

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Either way — to the contrary, Franklin concession workers — we may look like outsiders, but we’re both just as Kentucky redneck as the rest of y’all, dang it.  We will order a deep fried snickers shortly to further prove ourselves.

The Franklin Drive-In shows two feature films every Friday and Saturday night — the cost is $15 for a carload of 1-3 people.  And it is just plain lovely.   Good for people-watching, great for neckin’ , and the best for getting back to the real life — the life offline.

To find out what’s playin and get more information – you can check their website : HERE.

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